let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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