I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
