before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
