You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
