The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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