would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
