no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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