is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just took my morning after pill in the library
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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