Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
