That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Randomize
