i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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