So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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