Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
