Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Floor bacon is actually really good
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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