My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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