There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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