3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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