Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
