I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
