how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
