She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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