You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize