I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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