i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
