i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just forgot I was standing up.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
