i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The adults are the big ones right?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
