bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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