But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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