he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
