I didn't shave. On purpose
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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