3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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