I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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