I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
