i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
