Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
