I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
did you just send me my own nude
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
