My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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