It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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