I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
