That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
