i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
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It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
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We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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