I just threw up on my dentist
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
