If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
