Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
