do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
