I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
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You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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