I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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