We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
