This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
ttyl tear gas
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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