dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
