you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
