Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
