idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think your dad took our porno
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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