Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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