I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
