i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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