he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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