Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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