I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
