if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
