I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
