he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
