You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
where am i from again
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
