Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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