i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
