you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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